( chirping )
What a sun-tastic day!
Whoa!
Snail trail.
That SpongeBob needs to keep his pet out of my yard.
I am sick of cleaning up after him.
( grumbling )
( meowing )
Not my pet rock collection.
( sputtering )
That's it!
This isn't the first time you've soiled my yard
with your revolting excretions.
But mark this down in your little notebook.
It will be the last time!
Ow! D-ohh!
This cheap splintery wood will keep even Gary out.
Now I feel safe.
( splattering )
Huh?
SpongeBob!
Hi, Squidward.
( calm voice ): Hey, SpongeBob.
( yelling ): Keep your shell vermin off of my property!
The next time, my annoyingly yellow neighbor,
your wet pet oozes on my lawn,
you'll leave me no choice
but to call snail control.
That little monster...
( yammering ) ( growling )
He bit me!
Gary!
No, dirty boy.
This isn't like you.
Oh, but it's just like you, SpongeBob,
to raise such a misbehaved mollusk.
Gary's not misbehaved.
( snarling )
But there does appear to be something wrong with him.
l'll say. l hope he's had his shots.
Oh, of course.
All of his shots?
Affirmatory.
For rabies? Yep.
Snail pox and soft shell dance? Yupie.
Bagitis, lumpy-bump trump, teen angst? Yep, yep, yep.
Let's not forget the worst of them all.
Mad snail disease.
Uh...
You mean your pet hasn't been vaccinated
for mad snail disease?
Looks like the rash has already started.
Rash?
Tell me, do you have any soreness of throat?
( gulps )
Well, now that you mention it,
my throat is a little dry.
This disease will ravage your body
with bloodshot eyes, loss of balance, Whoa.
messy pants,
ticklish rib cage, ( laughing )
severely untrimmed toenails,
and finally, the bite from that infected snail
will turn you into...
a zombie.
( screaming )
You need to get that snail of yours to a doctor
before he bites someone important.
( both gasp )
There's a mad snail on the loose!
( screaming )
Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary?!
( screaming )
The mad snail is coming!
If he bites you, you'll turn into a zombie.
Jeepers, what's with all the lunatics?
Oh, look, honey, isn't he the cutest?
( panting )
Come here, little buddy.
He's just adorable.
Mad snail disease is real!
I'm a zombie. I've been bitten by a mad snail.
I've got mad snail disease!
Then I've got it! A snail just bit me, too!
( both screaming )
( screaming )
( all screaming )
We interrupt this program to bring you a news blast.
This just in...
Fear and disease is spreading like wildfire
as a killer snail has been biting the denizens
of Bikini Bottom, infecting them with...
Ask any old fish on the street, and they'll tell you
that germs enter through the bite radius,
traveling upstream until the entire host body
is full of...
We now take you to Action News Reporter Perch Perkins
live on the scene.
Perch Perkins here with the first victim
of this epidemic.
Tell me, Mr. Tentacles, when did you first
begin to suspect you were a zombie?
Well, after I was bitten by a mad snail,
I began to get a rash;
followed by loss of balance, ticklish rib cage
and a few other symptoms.
Hey, I was bitten by a snail.
I kind of feel off balance!
Whoa.
Hey, I have ticklish ribs, too.
And I haven't even been bitten.
Oh, no, it's spreading through the air!
( all screaming )
Well, you heard it here first.
We're all doomed to a horrible demise,
thanks to a diseased snail.
( screaming )
( all screaming )
Gary?
( horns honking )
I can't believe that sweet and slimy snail
would cause all this destruction.
( Squidward moaning )
I'm a zombie,
here to dine on your squishy yellow flesh.
( moaning )
( gasps )
( all moaning )
( screaming )
It's locked!
( moaning )
Somebody let me in.
SpongeBob, come in, boy.
And bring your friends in, too.
They look hungry.
Stop! You can't let anyone in!
But they just want to dine on some Krabby Patties.
They're zombies.
They only want to dine on our flesh.
All right, but it's coming out of your paycheck.
I don't work here.
But, Mr. Krabs, it's me SpongeBob.
But how do we know you haven't become
one of those voracious flesh-eaters?
Could a voracious flesh-eater do this?
SpongeBob, it's you.
That's right, so let me in before I'm eaten.
Yeah, that's SpongeBob all right.
Or is it? Huh?
I don't believe that's the real SpongeBob.
He looks pretty zombie-fied.
Just look at how yellow he is.
Come on, Patrick, would a zombie have a picture of his best buddy
in his wallet?
Perhaps not.
But I've got my eye on you.
If you could pull out your eye and put it on him,
wouldn't that make you
a zombie, too?
( all gasping )
You're right.
( alarm ringing ) l'm a zombie!
Who's to say we're not all zombies?
( all screaming )
( screaming )
GARY: Meow.
( all gasping )
ALL: The snail!
Gary!
Are you okay, buddy?
Come here, boy.
No, don't get near it.
Oh, the pity of it all.
I can't watch.
All those people think you're a monster,
but I know you're just a snail.
( meowing and growling )
( all gasping )
( belches )
( throbbing )
Gary...
( sniffling )
...how could you?
( snarling )
SpongeBob's been infected by his own pet snail.
Oh, the irony!
Quick, we must quarantine that infected snail
before he bites every last Bikini Bottomite.
Let's get that snail.
ALL: Yeah!
( angry shouting )
No, don't hurt him.
Hand over the snail.
It's for his own good, SpongeBob.
No, I won't let you touch Gary.
Stop the madness, man.
The mad snail disease ends now.
Seize the snail.
Halt!
Did someone say mad snail disease?
Is that what all this fuss is about?
Yeah. What do you know about it?
Funny you should ask.
Allow me to introduce myself.
Dr. Gill Gilliam.
S.D.E. and S.E.
"S.D.E. and S.E."?
Snail disease expert and snail expert.
I'm sorry to break this to you all,
but that "mad snail disease" you're talking about
it doesn't exist.
ALL: Huh?
That's right, no such thing.
It's an old urban legend, a myth.
Well, does that mean we're not zombies?
Of course not.
No one is.
It's just mass hysteria.
But what about my severely untrimmed...?
Those are only moderately untrimmed.
All the supposed symptoms are just common ailments.
Easy, boy.
But what about Gary, then?
If he doesn't have a disease,
why'd he bite all those people, including me?
Hmm?
Uh-huh, the problems right here.
He's got a little splinter
in his foot.
I'm sure this was causing him distemper,
making for serious grouchy snailitis.
Oh, Gary, I knew you weren't disease-ridden.
Do you still love me?
Meow.
( laughing )
Good old Gary's back.
( moaning )
Hey, Squidward, you're not a zombie, remember?
Oh, yes, I am.
Welcome to the Krusty Krab.
May I take your order?
All's well that ends well.
( loud snap )